dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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