found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
