we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
