I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
