I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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