NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
