he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I lost the right to judge tonight
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
