Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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