I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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