they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
