and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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