Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
