Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
