toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
