hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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