Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
