White coat. Heels.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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