had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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