dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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