I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
