doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
