yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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