I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
