Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
