Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
