Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
