i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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