I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
