People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
