you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
