TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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