you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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