I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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