..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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