peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
