Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
