I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
