well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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