I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
