IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
