im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
