doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
