well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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