He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
