The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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