dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
