Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
be right there i have to get my cape
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.