When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..