I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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