I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
