fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
