Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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