its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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