Cold hands, warm shart.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
