Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize