I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
