just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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